To every parent, guardian and teacher who is reading this, we know you do whatever you do for a child when you teach him/her is for their best but there are some mistakes you might be making right now and be unaware of it because unfortunately, they are very common and even considered “normal” by the society. Here are six common mistakes you might be making with your child:
1. Pressurising the child with your version of correctness.
You are an adult and you have way more experience than your kid. That’s true but many a times, your version of correctness is not the best one. Sometimes kids just need to experiment and make mistakes and find out what is the best for them. Sometimes, they find better answers than the ones you have. We can learn so much from their enthusiasm and curiosity as well!
2. Telling them they are stupid/incompetent.
This is a blunder. You should never ever tell them they are below anyone. Every child is different – they may be terrible in some subjects but wonderful in others. As their guardian, you should support them, encourage them to pursue the activities they’re good at and not make them feel bad about the things they’re not doing well. Many talented kids beat themselves up for their weaknesses and lose their real interests in the process. Good parenting and teaching can prevent this disaster.
3. Discouraging them from pursuing a hobby of their choice.
Many parents make this error. When they don’t approve of a particular type of interest, they don’t allow their children to pursue it either. A parent needs to interact with his/her children and see the activity from their point of view. A child is a curious creature, and curiosity is the mother of all learning. So, don’t discourage him/her from pursuing interests which seem unusual (but are safe) like learning an uncommon instrument or collecting information on insects – just watch and support them in their quest.
4. Talking about your house budget and their role in it.
This is something no loving parent should ever do to their children. A child is not supposed to know the amount of your monthly income spent on him/her. They have their desires and sometimes, they might be out of your budget but you do it for them anyway. Yes, that is your love and devotion to your child but do not tell them about it. A lot of financially insecure parents can get stressed because of all the tension related with raising a child on less money and end up showing their vulnerability to their kids. You may think it would make them feel more proud and loved to know how much you sacrifice for them but in a lot of cases, it can develop a sense of low esteem in the child where he/she would think of himself/herself as a burden on you and we know you don’t consider them such. No matter how stressed you are, never put this type of pressure on them.
5. Giving them EVERYTHING they ask for.
A lot of parents don’t think twice before granting each and every wish of their children and end up spoiling them (Think: Veruca Salt from Charlie and the Chocolate Factory). Yes, a child wants a lot of things but you should be careful with how you respond. Getting everything easily is never good for anyone and your kid is no exception.
6. Comparing them with their peers.
Do not do this unless you really have to. Yes, you can use a child around his/her age as an example for certain habits and activities but comparing them constantly with their peers with demeaning statements like, “You scored only 70? Rita Sharma in your class got 95!” then you are only asking them to develop inferiority complex. Encourage them to do better without repeatedly pointing out how they need to be as good as someone in their class to become acceptable. They are great the way they are and need to improve as an individual and not because you think someone else in their peer group is better than them.
Be a little more careful and raise them with love, care, affection along with some strictness, rules and regulations.